Reborn: A Second Chance to Love
by trusuprise
Summary: “Kagome, she’s calling to me, and I’m bound to answer her.”


Disclaimer: Inuyasha is owned by Rumiko Takahashi. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For is owned by U2.  
  
**"Reborn: A Second Chance to Love"**  
By: TruSuprise

"Achoo!"  
  
Inuyasha's feet scrambled after almost falling out of the branches high in the canopy of the barren forest as he ran when the dark haired girl on his back sneezed violently.  
  
"Mind sneezing any louder into my ear, woman?" He grumbled as he regained his footing, his bare feet gripping the cold bark below them. He fell into pace, leaping through the branches along side Kirara and the rest of their shard hunting team riding on her back. Back from another tedious battle over a Shikon shard which they had lost to Naraku at the last moment, they were on their way to rest at Kaede's village.  
  
The girl balled up her fists into the back of the hanyou's rough, red haori and buried her forehead into Inuyasha's thick silver hair, shielding herself from the cold wind as it bit at her face. "Well _ex-cuse_ me, Inuyasha. Some of us don't have super human strength or resistance to this kind of weather."  
  
Inuyasha sighed, trying to ignore the feel of the girl's warm breath on the back of his neck, wondering, not for the first time, if she had any idea what that did to him. With great, leaping bounds, he tried to lure his thoughts away from Kagome's warm breath by making a game of darting in between the lightly falling snowflakes of the first snow of the season.  
  
With a soft chuckle, he told himself that the gentle emotions he had been having prior to her sneezing on his person had only been due to her physical proximity, or had just plainly been made up by his idly wandering mind. Certainly, this argumentative female couldn't make him feel that way for her. Certainly. He nodded his head as if to affirm his conclusion, as though his brain was trying to convince his heart of a fact it refused to accept.  
  
"Keh! Maybe if you didn't insist on wearing that flimsy clothing that you wear in your time, you'd be warmer!"  
  
"If you'd remember, I wasn't planning on being here this long to begin with so I could go home to get warmer clothes, not to mention the two tests I've missed that someone wouldn't let me go home for!"  
  
Inuyasha growled slightly. "I'm sick of hearing that word! How are those things so important that you have to leave me so often?"  
  
Kagome faltered momentarily at the unspoken meaning behind his words, wondering if he had meant for it to seem that it hurt him personally when ever she would leave. Needing to come up with a retort quickly, she focused instead on her anger rather than trying to figure out the confusing hanyou.  
  
"How many times have we been through this? I need to study to pass my high school entrance exams. It's a miracle that I've been able to pass all my classes so far, considering how little I've been in school. I need to pass this test so I can finish high school and go to college!"  
  
"What's college?"  
  
"It's school."  
  
"You mean there is more school after this High School thing?!" Inuyasha whipped his head around to glare at her, one eyebrow raised high before concentrating again on keeping his footing.  
  
Kagome pounded Inuyasha's back with one balled up fist before curling it back into his haori to keep it warm. "Ohhh, Inuyasha, you're impossible! I need to be able to go to college so that I can have a profession when this quest is over!"  
  
"Keh. Listen to you. A profession? Why would you have to work?"  
  
"Because I'm going to have to go home after we finish our quest eventually!" Kagome stiffened even before the last word rolled off her lips, the reality behind her words shaking her to the core. She couldn't very well live the rest of her life five hundred years in the past, pining for an inu-hanyou who still loved an undead and hateful miko.  
  
Inuyasha turned his head sharply to look her, his brows knitted and his eyes intense as though he wanted to say something. Kagome quickly averted her gaze from those amber eyes. She couldn't tell by his wide-eyed expression if he was worried at the thought of her going home and not coming back, or if he had just never considered the possibility that their quest might end and difficult decisions would have to be made. His facial expressions could be as difficult to determine as his feelings.  
  
The hanyou growled deep in his throat at the thought of Kagome leaving him for good. 'How dare this woman think she can just leave me!' He thought to himself. He blinked hard, knowing that thought was uncalled for. He had laid no claim to the young woman who clung to his back as they sped through the forest.  
  
In actuality, he had thought about it many times, laying claim to her, and the depth of his desire to do so sometimes frightened him. Especially considering he had not even laid claim to Kikyou before Naraku had so tragically ended their happiness. But with Kagome...  
  
He knew he cared deeply for this girl from the future, although the extent of his feelings was a subject he avoided. He had known not long after they had met and began their quest. It was early on that he could feel her soul unconsciously tugging on his, and knew his own reached out to Kagome's in return. The time that they had known each other only strengthened that bond, their quest and their handful of near death experiences had brought the two closer than one might think imaginable.  
  
His feelings for Kagome were so intense and frightening to him that it was everything that he could do to keep his distance from her, both mentally and physically. All of his insults, his short temper, his tendency to blame her for everything, it was all for one reason. He was afraid he might care for her so much that he would betray his promise to Kikyou.  
  
It was no secret that Kagome loved Inuyasha. She might not have ever said it in so many words, but everyone knew, including him. It was a fact which only made his attempts to ignore his own emotions that much more difficult.  
  
He had tried to get her to hate him, to get her feelings for him to fade. If they could put their feelings aside, their relationship could be purely a camaraderie based on convenience. Inuyasha's goal to revenge his lost love and to descend to hell with her and Kagome's to right the wrong she had created after shattering the Shikon no Tama.  
  
But for every attempt he had made to get her to finally write him off, nothing had worked. Sure, she got angry. Very angry and to the tune of many an osuwari to his poor, abused body. But no matter what he did, this amazing woman would always forgive him, always understand his faults, and always trust him in the end.  
  
Trust.  
  
It was something that Kikyou could never find in her heart to do. In fact, the very first time she didn't trust him, she had pinned him to the Goshinboku, sealing him to the ancient tree for what would have been all eternity.  
  
According to Kikyou herself, the only thing that would appease her now would be his death by her hands. And somehow, he couldn't hate her for that. For deep down, he believed their tragedy was all his fault, a fault that could only be atoned for with his life. Besides, how bad could hell be, really?  
  
"Inuyasha?" Kagome's sweet voice ripped him out of his thoughts. "You got really quiet all of a sudden."  
  
"Keh."  
  
Almost regretting her concern for the idiot, Kagome seethed and tugged a thick lock of the hanyou's dense hair. "Be that way then."  
  
Mid stride between the trees, Inuyasha opened his mouth, as if to say something, and then he stalled. Kagome sensed his hesitation and quickly forgot about the argument. "Inuyasha, what is it?"  
  
Again, his mouth opened, only this time, unbidden words hung on his tongue as though sent to him in a dream. The thoughts were almost tangible as his mind ran wild.  
  
_I have climbed the highest mountain   
__I have run through the fields   
__Only to be with you  
_

_I have run   
__I have crawled   
__I have scaled these city walls _

_Only to be with you_  
  
Before he could stop to ponder which of the two women in his life the strangely poetic words were meant for, something caught his attention. Inuyasha's mouth suddenly clicked into place, his teeth catching against each other as he looked ahead.  
  
Kirara had pulled into an abrupt stop, her heaving breaths crystallizing in the dark evening air. Sango clutched a lightly dozing Shippou to her chest to ensure he didn't fall off the fire cat youkai. Miroku, firmly seated behind Sango, looked jealously at the little kitsune.  
  
Inuyasha jumped at the opportunity to be distracted. Anything would be welcomed to keep him from thinking about his constantly warring feelings between the girl standing next to him and his promise of old.  
  
"What's wrong?" He called out as he stopped next to Kirara, panting from his run.  
  
Kagome's eyes slid closed slightly as her legs memorized the sensation of Inuyasha's ribs expanding and contracting beneath her. She sighed inwardly as his strong heartbeat thumped against her clasped hands around his chest. Detachedly, she observed as the last traces of a sunset hidden behind swollen snow clouds slipped into oblivion. The clouds parted in the sky above, allowing the moon to shine brightly overhead.  
  
As the hanyou underneath her tried to catch his breath, suddenly her own caught in her throat and her stomach tightened into an all too familiar knot. She slid down off Inuyasha's back, leaving footprints in the dusting of snow on the forest floor. Moving to solemnly stand next to him, she kept her hands buried in the long sleeve of his haori.  
  
Glancing to the side to follow Kagome's gaze, Inuyasha looked to the right. A shinidamachuu floated eerily in the spaces between the snowflakes, it's ethereal, eel-like body slithering and winding through the trunks of the trees. Sliding through an open clearing in the leafless trees above, the moonlight shone through its body and for a moment, it appeared as a luminescent ribbon billowing in the breeze.  
  
"Kikyou."  
  
Kagome winced at Inuyasha's quiet whisper, as though his words had physically hurt her. Inuyasha's hot breath froze the miko's name in the frigid night air.  
  
The hanyou took a hesitant step forward, his silver mane shining with the glow of the moon and the white snow surrounding them. Conflict swam in his eyes, his eyebrows pitched as though he were torn. His miko was calling to him.  
  
Kagome's hands tightened their grip on his sleeve, not tugging, but providing resistance as her mind tried its hardest to will Inuyasha to the spot. Miroku looked at Inuyasha tensely as Sango sadly eyed Kagome. They both knew he would heed the shinidamachuu's call and abandon Kagome.  
  
Inuyasha felt Kagome's gentle pressure on his sleeve as he turned to look at her. As always, all previous thoughts of her were pushed aside once presented with Kikyou's presence. "I have to leave, Kagome."  
  
The young girl faltered once she looked into his eyes. They were full of such dire resolve. 'Why does he always long to go back to Kikyou when all she makes him feel is this empty sadness? Can't he see that they aren't happy together?'  
  
Even though she knew that he was choosing her rival over herself, she could not condemn the hopeless fool to face the miko alone. She couldn't abandon him to the fate she knew awaited him at Kikyou's hands.  
  
"You're not going alone."  
  
"Kago..."  
  
"Damn it, Inuyasha, I'm not letting her drag you into hell without a fight!"  
  
The hanyou's brows knitted together. He took a step towards Kagome and suddenly gathered her up into her arms. He glanced towards Miroku and Sango, both wearing confused expressions on their faces. Silently, he warned them not to move as Kagome struggled in his grasp.  
  
"What are you-"  
  
"Shut up, woman. You're coming with me."

Inuyasha leapt, aiming for the treetops as he took off, becoming a red blur with trailing silver streaming behind him.  
  
"Should we follow them?" Sango quietly asked, dazed in Inuyasha's wake, still cradling the sleeping Shippou. Anxiety and worry were etched into her features as she worried for her friends.  
  
"I think it's best we left them alone right now." Miroku replied quietly, still scanning the horizon for Inuyasha's retreating form.  
  
Sango turned slowly to look at the houshi. Her head tilted up slightly to look into his eyes, a blank expression on her face. Three snowflakes casually floated through the space between their faces.  
  
Then, she slapped him.  
  
Miroku removed his offending hand from her rear end, his fingertips gently touching the reddened skin of his cheek. A glint of mischief still shone in his eyes and was not missed on the taiji-ya.  
  
The houshi slid off Kirara's back to stand at the youkai's massive shoulder before flashing an adoring smile at the woman he wished to call his own. "Well then, allow me to lead us back to Kaede's village, Sango-sama."

* * *

Inuyasha gently landed on the forest floor about a mile away from the village. In the clearing, he could see the eerie outline of the bone eater's well lit by the moon glow.  
  
Kagome slid out of his grasp and as her feet touched the ground, she spun to look him in the face. She opened her mouth to speak, but was distracted by his expression. She could tell his mind had been made up.  
  
In the end, Inuyasha would not let his feelings for Kagome stand in the way of the promise he had made. 'Kikyou came first, and before I fail her a second time, I need to seal my fate. If I don't go to hell with her now, I can't be held accountable for my actions with Kagome. I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am.'  
  
His decision clear, Inuyasha spoke quietly. "Kagome, she's calling to me, and I'm bound to answer her."  
  
"You are bound but do you _want_ to go?"  
  
"You must understand. I promised her! Before I knew you, before you were even born, I gave my word to be with her."  
  
Although her mind warned her to bite back her blunt words, Kagome's heart spurred her on. "Can't you see that all she wants is to kill you? What kind of love is that, really, Inuyasha?"  
  
The hanyou stamped his foot on the frozen earth in frustration, his silver mane animated by his movements. "You couldn't possibly understand!"  
  
"Understand? You think I haven't been understanding? Listen to me, Inuyasha. I've been more than understanding since I've met you!"  
  
"Keh, we're not together, it shouldn't matter to you anyway!"  
  
Inuyasha was frequently about as subtle as a kick in the stomach, but he had a point. Kagome spun away from him, her fists clenched and her face burning, despite the goosebumps covering her bare legs from the frozen air.  
  
"I know that, Inuyasha. I've always known that."  
  
Inuyasha's ears instantly drooped sideways, the furry ends hanging slightly at their tips. His thick bangs concealed his eyes from view as he tipped his head down. He hadn't meant for it to come out that way. He knew she loved him unconditionally, and though he knew he felt at least some of the same emotions for her, he was painfully aware that he had just trampled right over her heart.  
  
Kagome spun back around on her heel, demanding Inuyasha meet her determined gaze. Taking a page out of Inuyasha's book, she pressed on. "But don't think for one second that I'm going to let her take you away from us...when I need you most."  
  
Kagome slowly approached Inuyasha, taking small, decided steps. "I would never ask anything of you, Inuyasha. Never demand anything of you, but one thing."  
  
She moved close enough to touch him, and her arms begged her to reach out to him, to feel him, to assure herself that he wouldn't disappear. She could smell his ancient scent, like that of pine and the first rain of summer. His eyes shone into hers, his emotions swirling, changing, questioning her. He looked sad, as though he had resigned himself to some horrible fate.  
  
Her eyes were the opposite, set and resolute. Although it hurt badly, she had always known that Kikyou would hold a bigger place in his heart that she would. Inuyasha cared for her, of that, she was certain. But she knew, deep in her heart that she could not compare to his first love. "Inuyasha, I forgave you long ago for wanting to be with Kikyou..."  
  
The revelation of her limitless forgiveness and understanding began to dawn on the torn hanyou. He fought with himself to keep his hands at his sides as she stood before him, barely an inch of space between their bodies.  
  
"But, please. Don't abandon us." She whispered.  
  
Inuyasha lost his meager control of his hands as they snaked around her waist, pulling her toward him. He would not forsake his friends, but most of all; he could not forsake this woman. No, he would not let Kikyou take him to hell. "I...I won't. I'll be back. Trust me, Kagome."  
  
He felt her heated skin as it worked hard to keep her warm in the frigid atmosphere. Her long, thick hair pressed against his face as he tipped his head to bury his nose next to her ear in a canine gesture of affection. He lost himself as he inhaled the scent that was uniquely hers, a mix of vanilla and honey.  
  
"I trust you, Inuyasha. I always trust in you."  
  
In that one cataclysmal moment, Inuyasha knew his feelings for Kagome far surpassed his love of fifty years ago. He bit his lip, his canines drawing blood as he struggled to hold his overflowing emotions at bay. His strong arms pulled her even closer as the small girl in his grasp squeaked at his tight embrace.  
  
Kagome lost herself momentarily, succumbing to the warm embrace of the man she loved, her face nestled in his red haori. She didn't need youkai senses to pick up the many scents that lingered in the coarse material from their recent journeys. In his arms, she felt protected, safe and complete.  
  
She would have stayed in his embrace forever, but she realized it was false, a one sided love if he couldn't return her feelings. She gathered herself and reluctantly pushed Inuyasha away from her, her eyes hidden from his view as he allowed the small woman to release herself from his grasp.  
  
She would never want to give up on her love for him, but a part of her was tired and weary. Exhaustion from having her hopes crushed time and time again was starting to take its toll on her mind. 'Yes, perhaps he does belong with Kikyou.'  
  
She looked up to him, her eyes glimmering as she fought against the tears. "You deserve to be happy, Inuyasha. Go to her. But please, come back."  
  
Inuyasha's amber eyes widened. That she would be so selfless when he knew that she was hurting, when he was hurting too. When he now knew that he loved her, and if he would just admit to his feelings, he could spare them both this pain... No. 'I can't just betray Kikyou without even...'  
  
Kagome rose up on her tippie-toes and tilted her head slightly to the right before planting a brief, chaste kiss on Inuyasha's lips.  
  
The hanyou stood frozen as Kagome's warm lips pressed against his own. His hands moved to capture her waist again, to pull her towards him, to deepen their kiss, when abruptly, she pulled her face away, stepped back, and turned on her heel.  
  
With not a single word, she began running, her gaze glued to the ground as she found the familiar path that would lead her back to Kaede's village.  
  
Inuyasha stood frozen to the ground as though the snow and ice had sealed him to the spot. Both his mind and body were numb.  
  
Not giving his body the chance to chase after Kagome as his heart ached to do, he turned in the opposite direction and sprinted as fast as he could, eyeing his promised one's shinidamachuu waiting patiently in the distance. Despite his newly confirmed feelings for the girl from the future, he first had to confront Kikyou. The bitter wind stung his face, almost freezing the moisture pooling in his eyes as more unbidden words drifted into his mind.  
  
_I have kissed honey lips   
__Felt the healing in her fingertips   
__It burned like fire   
__This burning desire_  
  
"Kikyou. I'm coming."

* * *

Inuyasha's feet dug into the ground as he walked across the frozen ground of the forest floor. For a fleeting moment, he wondered why he had claws on his hands, yet not on his feet. The snow was growing steadily deeper. Already his bare feet sank two inches through the crystallized precipitation.  
  
The hanyou winced as he stepped through a small creek, the thick, calloused soles of his feet breaking through the thin layer of ice that rested on the water. The sound of the rocks shifting below his feet broke the silence of the otherwise hushed forest. The only other sound being his hushed footfalls in the snow and the white flakes landing one on top of the other.  
  
Kikyou's shinidamachuu wandered slowly, weaving itself through the tapestry of the trees. If nothing else, his miko's pets were calm and collected, as though they worked off their own concept of time. Much the way their aloof mistress behaved.  
  
In fact, that was the only thing that _hadn't_ changed about Kikyou since before her death, and the minor youkai's slow pace gave Inuyasha nothing if not the chance to think about the weight that bore down on his mind.  
  
Kagome's kiss and his own surrender to his feelings of love for the girl were still fresh on his mind as the hanyou wondered what his first love wanted with him. Perhaps to tell him a new tip she had discovered to track down Naraku. Perhaps she had decided to forsake her battle with Onigumo, and instead drag Inuyasha to hell with her. Perhaps...  
  
"Inuyasha."  
  
The hanyou flinched, painfully aware of his lack of concentration as his clawed hands instinctively flexed and rose to a guarded position with one hand grasping the hilt of the Tetsusaiga. He instantly lowered his hands back to his side, forgotten as he saw his miko in the distance, leaning against a gnarled tree as three of her snake-like servants swam around her.  
  
Kikyou smirked. "I sensed your presence close to here, and wished only to speak with you. I did not call you out here to harm you, if you believe that to be my intent. Had I wished you dead, Inuyasha, you would have already been underground with me. Need I remind you that we agreed to wait until _after_ I defeated Naraku to go to hell with each other?"  
  
Inuyasha slowly approached the pale miko, her white haori glowing by the gentle light the night sky provided. Approaching her as if in a daze, he stopped but inches from her body, his old love for her burning in his chest, his inner youkai howling at their misfortune as his human side grasped for ground, reminding himself that this woman was the one who had left him sealed for fifty years.  
  
"Kikyou..."  
  
Kikyou's nose turned up and her lifeless eyes bore into Inuyasha's. "I can smell her on you." The hanyou turned away, glancing at the ground. "At least you don't deny it."  
  
Inuyasha gathered his wits about him and forced himself to look into the eyes of his first love. Looking into those soulless depths, he saw the shell of a woman his love had become, and suddenly he mourned. Not for the woman standing before him, but for the woman he lost fifty years ago.  
  
Her eyes were drowned in sadness and hate, her face frozen into a constant scowl. Her once sweet fragrance of herbs and wildflowers was now nothing more than clay and ash. How he hadn't realized such when she was first resurrected escaped him. Kikyou and the woman standing in front of him were not the same person.  
  
"Kikyou, I...I will not go to hell with you."  
  
The miko didn't so much as blink an eye. "You would break your promise so easily?"  
  
"I promised you that I would avenge your death. I promised that I would always love you. But I can not forfeit my life when so many others depend on me."  
  
"Will you always love me, even when you are with my reincarnation? Will you think of me when you are with her? Will you say my name when you are thinking her own?"  
  
The hanyou faltered, his eyebrows raised, anger seeping into his eyes. "How can you even compare yourself to her!?" Kikyou momentarily looked shocked at her love's outburst of emotion. "She's so full of life, and love and trust. She doesn't judge, she doesn't demand, and she doesn't expect. Damn it Kikyou, she loves me for who I am, not who she wants me to be!"  
  
Inuyasha tossed around his last statement in his mind as it hit home. 'She loves me for who I am.'  
  
Slowly, Kikyou turned her head away from Inuyasha, as though she were ashamed, unworthy. She was painfully aware that she had required that the hanyou to become human if he was to be with her. Inuyasha's outburst was assertive and full of emotion. Since she had known him. Kikyou had seen him angry, she had seen his sadness, and she had known his tenderness, but this... passion was a side of him that Kikyou had never seen. Slowly and hesitantly, the miko began to understand what Inuyasha was trying to tell her.  
  
Inuyasha stepped closer to her, his arms reaching around the miko's shoulders, pulling her gently into his body in a loosed embrace as he whispered to her.  
  
"Kikyou, please understand. I love you, and I will always love you. But what I love is the memory of you, of who you _were_. I miss your tenderness, your kindness, and your sense of duty. I miss being important to you, protecting you, and living for you, but...all of that is gone now Kikyou. It's been gone for fifty years."  
  
Kikyou's voice cracked, almost pleading as her angry façade slipped away. "We can go back to that, Inuyasha!"  
  
Inuyasha crushed the miko closer to his body, his eyes squeezed shut as though he were suffering. "Kikyou, we can't go back in time! Kagome...Kagome is the only one who's allowed to do that."  
  
The shrine maiden chuckled bitterly, a tear slipping onto Inuyasha's haori, where it instantly dried on the magical hi-nezumi. "It all comes back to her, doesn't it?"  
  
Inuyasha pushed her shoulders away from him and looked into her eyes, a sad, lopsided smile touching his lips. "Somehow, just somehow, she has to be the one to set everything right."  
  
The couple of old stood in the clearing, Kikyou's shinidamachuu lingering close by as their mistress was held tightly to the hanyou they had tracked. Silently, their leader broke away, taking two of his brethren to go on a search for souls with which to keep his undead mistress alive.  
  
"It's not fair..." Inuyasha began, his voice hoarse as he remembered their undoing fifty years ago. "We had been so close. If it hadn't been for Naraku taking away our chance together-"  
  
"No, Inuyasha." The hanyou looked surprised as Kikyou cut him off, the tone to her voice firm. "You're right. What was between us was in the past. Even if it wasn't fair, nothing will be able to change what has happened. All that is left to us now is to avenge our lost opportunity and move on via our separate paths."  
  
"You've grown so much, Inuyasha." A soft expression washed over Kikyou's face. "And although it pains me to know that it was not me to be the one to do help you achieve that, it makes me happy to see you this way. For the first time in your life, you know what you really want... and even though it is not me that you were looking for..."  
  
For just a moment, all of Kikyou's hate and angst slipped away, and Inuyasha could have sworn he had seen more of her original soul in those lifeless eyes. It brought him back to a time when she was still the gentle, caring miko he had met as an untrusting and violent hanyou. It brought him back to a time when their love was strong, before lies and betrayal twisted their relationship beyond any recognition.  
  
"I knew this moment was coming, Inuyasha, and although I tried to alter its course by selfishly taking you with me in death, fate prevailed. It's a new day when the feared hanyou Inuyasha teaches a miko a thing or two about morality. Even still, I...I can't say that I'm happy."  
  
"Kikyou, I..."  
  
The hanyou's words were suddenly cut short as his miko leaned up on tippie- toes and briefly pressed her undead lips to Inuyasha's own. For the fleeting moment they were connected, Inuyasha shivered as her freezing lips passed the coldness of her body to his own. It was an unnatural cold, one not borne of the chill of the early winter.  
  
Settling back down on the balls of her feet, she whispered to him. "Just because I am incapable of happiness, does not mean I should hinder your own. You deserve to be happy, Inuyasha."  
  
Inuyasha let Kikyou's cold kiss linger on his lips momentarily as the two women in his life came full circle through one simple action. He had been blessed, although reluctantly, by his old love to continue with his new one. And somehow, it would all work out.  
  
"I will still avenge your death, Kikyou. I will not forgive Naraku."  
  
"I would no longer expect you to live up to any other unfair promise which you would be incapable of keeping." The miko eyed Inuyasha as she slowly stepped backwards from his embrace. Faint traces of moisture clouded her lifeless eyes. "Now, leave me, before I loose control of the little bit of my soul you helped me to find again."  
  
"Will you be..."  
  
"I said leave, fool!"  
  
Bowing curtly, Inuyasha turned on his heel and ran, promising himself not to look back. Once he was out of sight, shivers ran through the pale miko's body, and as she slowly collapsed to the ground, sobs racked her body as she finally released her hatred.

* * *

Kagome settled into her sleeping bag, her body sore and frozen to the bone, her soul feeling tired and weary. It had been a long night. Her friends had not asked her what had happened between her and Inuyasha, and for that, she was grateful. They had turned a blind eye to her tear stained face and red eyes and had allowed her to just lay down and crawl into her sleeping bag next to them. Moments after Kagome lay still, Shippou slid off Sango's futon and joined Kagome as though she wouldn't notice.  
  
Her mind was running at a maddening pace, worrying about Inuyasha, hoping that he was safe and that he would not give in to Kikyou's temptation. He had said he would be back, but that didn't imply that he couldn't...do anything with her, and of that, Kagome feared. She longed to run into Inuyasha's forest and find them, be there to help him.  
  
But she had agreed to trust him, and she would hold true to her word.  
  
She inwardly sighed as she opened her blurry eyes to gaze into the crackling fire in the middle of the room. The slowly dying flames afforded little warmth, but it was one of the few conveniences this era offered. Her eyes focused on the ripples in the air caused by the heat of the orange and red flames as they licked the frigid air.  
  
She loved Inuyasha from the bottom of her heart, that much she knew. Kagome was a strong woman, but her worry for Inuyasha's safety and her confusion over his feelings for her were taking its toll on her. She never knew where she stood with the hanyou, and every time it would seem as though she were the only person in his world, Kikyou would show her undead face and remind her how cruel the world could really be. Even she had a limit that could be reached, and right now, she was at the end of her allowance.  
  
Fearing that she would lie awake in her confusion and frustration until she heard him return, she was surprised when the first traces of exhaustion overcame her body and a dreamless sleep slowly took her.

* * *

The snow was falling in almost whiteout conditions as the hanyou's powerful legs carried him through his own forest. He passed the bone-eater's well as his nose began to search for the scent of Kagome.  
  
His miko of old still weighed heavily on his mind. He was beginning to understand that the love they had shared had in fact ended fifty years ago. But the grief was still fresh on his mind, and his slight guilt of feeling so strongly for Kagome made him wonder how he could be so cruel to his first love... however, his discussion with Kikyou had only served to help him to admit his love for Kagome, and help him to prove his love for her was meant to be.  
  
And now, there would no stopping his instincts. Now that his heart had confirmed that Kagome was the one he had been looking for all this time, his youkai instincts would not allow him to stop until he had started to pursue her seriously. He would not stop tonight until he had told her how he felt, even if it would be difficult for him to do so.  
  
Generally, Inuyasha avoided his feelings like the plague. They made him feel uncertain and less confident, and those were two emotions that would lead any youkai to his death. So instead, since the death of his mother and after having learnt the ways of survival at an early age, Inuyasha had preferred to hide behind a mask of casual irritation and distant aloofness.  
  
But now...now he _was_ certain, and with that certainty came confidence. He knew what he wanted and that was the strongest driving force next to his love for Kagome and his loyalty to his friends that Inuyasha possessed.  
  
He wouldn't realize it now and he might never, but like his father before him, it was the intensity of his loyalty and love alone that made him the most powerful hanyou if not youkai in all the land.  
  
He was now equipped with a goal, and his desire to make Kagome his had become an even greater force than his original desire to become full youkai.  
  
Picking up her scent, he realized she must have returned to the village. Nearing its borders, he slowed his pace, his all out run turning into a slower, stealthier jog as doubt began to seep into his mind.  
  
'What if she doesn't accept my feelings?'  
  
He knew that Kagome loved him. At least, he was pretty certain, but did that mean that she wanted him the same way the he wanted her, especially after the way he had treated her since their quest began? For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why or what he had done to deserve her attentions when he had hurt her time and time again.  
  
'Maybe I don't deserve to be with someone as wonderful as her.'  
  
Standing outside Kaede's hut, he silently pushed the curtain aside to find all his friends...no, his pack, asleep, tucked into a mismatched collection of ragged futons on the wood floor surrounding the dying embers of a fire. Even inside the comparative warmth of the hut, the uneven breaths of the hanyou crystallized in the air.  
  
To his left lay Miroku, who had obviously slid his futon closer to the object of his affections after she had fallen asleep. Miroku's normally baby-like face appeared that much more cherubic in his gentle sleep, as though his entire line of ancestors before him did not carry the curse of the Kazanaa. An affliction brought upon them by Naraku which would bring them all to an untimely and horrific death.  
  
Sango slept soundly next to him her back turned to his body. The taiji-ya was quite possibly the strongest woman he had ever met, whom Naraku had ripped the very earth from beneath her feet after killing her father and their entire clan before continuing to terrorize her by the reanimation of her little brother, Kohaku. At least Sango had found solace in Kagome and Miroku, the latter of whom she vehemently denied any feelings for. Even now, Inuyasha's acute hearing picked up her voice as she quietly mumbled his name in her sleep.  
  
Kirara, the peculiar two-tailed cat youkai lay in her detransformed state, curled up in Sango's arms. That such an innocent looking pet could transform into so fierce and loyal a warrior amazed Inuyasha. Kirara had long ago swore a youkai oath of loyalty to protect Sango, and even Midoriko before her, the mysterious miko who had battled so many youkai so as to create the Shikon no Tama inside of which her battle raged on.  
  
To Sango's right lay Kaede, the younger sister of his once beloved miko, who was quite possibly his oldest friend. Kikyou's death must have been as difficult on her as it was for him. Her old age did not make her any less a valuable member of his pack; her skills in battle and leadership were truly a force to be reckoned with.  
  
At the bottom of the next odd futon lay Shippou, the young kitsune. This poor youkai child had lost his father to another of Naraku's plots. At first, he had been but a whiny brat, always hanging on to himself or Kagome, but over time, he had grown as much as he himself had, and had eventually looked to Inuyasha as a surrogate father, and Kagome as his surrogate mother.  
  
Underneath Shippou rested the object of Inuyasha's desire. Kagome was curled up in her strange futon, a sleeping bag as he remembered it was called. Here was the woman he had been looking for all along. This strange girl from the future who had unsealed him from the Goshinboku, had crawled onto the tree of the feared hanyou and looked him in the eyes, as though she were no less powerful than he. She had pulled the arrow from his heart that Kikyou had placed there, and through Kagome, he was reborn and given a second chance to live, a second chance to love.  
  
This woman had selflessly set aside her life in her own world to help him search for the shards of the Shikon no Tama. Kagome, who took everything that happened to him and made it a personal issue of her own... this devoted woman was as loyal if not more, than he himself was.  
  
All of these unlikely companions, once thrust together had formed a bond stronger than family. They had shown Inuyasha true friendship for the first time in his life, and they had shaped him into the better person he now was. And for that, he was grateful. Especially for her, for Kagome, the instrument that had brought them all together in the first place.  
  
Inuyasha crept over to Kagome's sleeping body and crouched down on his haunches to observe her while she slept. Certainly, this wasn't the first time he had done this. Inuyasha slept in a tree for more than just the reason of keeping watch over his friends. From that height, he had a good vantage point to watch the young girl sleep. That, and the distance kept his sometimes perverted thoughts from gaining control of his actions.  
  
Sadly, he noted tear stains on her face, and he berated himself, knowing he was the one who had caused them. It stung him a second time to know that this wasn't the first time he had caused her to cry. Again, he felt unworthy of such a caring woman.  
  
Shakily, one clawed hand reached out and pushed her bangs away from her forehead as she breathed softly and evenly. Watching her still form made him think of all the reasons this woman was so important to him. He might not be deserving of Kagome's affections, but he couldn't let the chance to tell her how he felt slip through his fingers. He almost didn't want to wake her up, but his feelings would not wait. He knew he might not have the courage in the morning.  
  
Kagome leaned into his gentle touch, a small smile curling on her face as Inuyasha continued to stroke her hair. The hanyou couldn't hide a soft smile at her actions. Quietly, he leaned down to her ear and whispered her name.  
  
"Kagome."  
  
Instantly, the girl's eyelids flew open, and just as she was about to let out a startled gasp of surprise, Inuyasha covered her mouth with one hand, raising a finger to his lips with another.  
  
Kagome nodded and sat up slightly when Inuyasha slipped his arms underneath hers and pulled her out of her sleeping bag in one quick, silent motion. Shippou landed on the floor with a quiet thud, no longer having Kagome to support him. The little kitsune merely mumbled something about candy and shifted to the warm spot vacated by Kagome's body.  
  
Not giving himself the chance to hesitate, he slid one arm around Kagome's shoulders and picked her up, supporting her with his other arm under her knees. He ignored her questioning expression as he silently carried her out of the hut.  
  
"Where are you taking me?" Kagome whispered once Inuyasha had carried her to the village border.  
  
"I think we need to talk." Inuyasha replied in a hushed voice.  
  
A million possibilities crowded Kagome's still sleepy mind. Had he decided to go to hell with Kikyou after all? Had he come back to tell her that he wanted to remain with Kikyou?  
  
Inuyasha smelled Kagome's trepidation. 'What is she so worried about, I came back to her, didn't I?' The scent of her fear physically pained the hanyou. That her feelings would be that intense, he had to find out what she was thinking.  
  
Approaching the Goshinboku, he gently set her on the ground. Kagome bit her tongue as her socked feet sunk into several inches of snow. The snow had finally started to let up, and the chunky clouds above them in the sky which were lit purple by the moon and the reflection of the snow on the ground had begun to break up. Only large, swollen flakes still fell down from the heavens at random, their size heralding the end of the storm. The stars were shining through the breaks in the clouds, and Kagome caught the brightness of the Milky Way, which shone with brilliance not able to be seen in her time, five hundred years in the future.  
  
She willed herself to ignore the cold as she focused on the hanyou whose eyes were glowing a ferally with a golden hue in the dark hour of midnight. Something was strange about him. There was a determined and confident look in his eyes. For a moment, she wondered if this was perhaps one of Naraku's plots or maybe one of Shippou's pranks. Perhaps this wasn't really her Inuyasha.  
  
Then she realized what it was. She had seen that look on his face many times before. Every time he fought for her, every time he protected her, he had that same look of intensity. He was sure of himself. His eyes were bright, ears standing up, and all his senses were alert. Inuyasha was fighting for something.  
  
But she didn't know what he was fighting for, and he still hadn't spoke since they had left the village. She was crumbling under his intense gaze and if she didn't break the silence, she felt that she would melt.  
  
"How did it go with..."  
  
"Kikyou?" He finished for her. She nodded. "I told her I wouldn't go to hell with her."  
  
A look of surprise and happiness crossed Kagome's face and she opened her mouth to speak when Inuyasha silenced her with words of his own. "I told her that I would continue to fight for her, that I would kill Naraku to avenge her, and that I would always love her."  
  
The knot in Kagome's stomach suddenly tightened as she felt as though the ground had opened up below her and threatened to swallow her whole. She knew he loved Kikyou, but did he have to say it to her face? Tears began to well up in her eyes, and she was helpless to stop their flow.  
  
"Kagome?"  
  
"Enough, Inuyasha! You've said enough, please."  
  
"But I..."  
  
"Look, I already know you love her, do you have to rub it in, you asshole?"  
  
"A...asshole? Who are you calling an asshole?! I'm trying to-"  
  
Kagome finally snapped. Feeling her lowest after listening to Inuyasha admit his love to Kikyou, she was hurt and exhausted. "Damn it, Inuyasha, I'm tired of fighting!"  
  
Inuyasha took a step backwards, as though Kagome's anger and depression had knocked him back. He picked up on her raw emotion spilling through her aura. It was so thick that he could have sliced it with Tetsusaiga's Kaze no Kizu.  
  
"I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Just being around you is killing me! I'm tired of it, and I want to go home."  
  
To have his prospective future mate tell him that his very being was killing her was a blow to the hanyou. Inuyasha's mouth hung agape as he tried to comprehend Kagome's words. He had been pretty sure she loved him, and now, just his presence was hurting her? All his confidence drained out of his body, melting at his feet as though it were the snow beneath him.  
  
No, he wouldn't let this end here. He had to find out what she meant. He took a shaky step forward and grabbed her arm, his claws breaking through the material of her school uniform as his eyes bored into her own, demanding she answer his question. "How am I hurting you, Kagome?"  
  
Kagome's eyes turned downwards unable to meet Inuyasha's eyes as her body shook. She didn't want to answer him, didn't want to lay her emotions out on the table like this. "Are you blind, Inuyasha? How would you like it if Kikyou told you she would always love _your_ rival?"  
  
Suddenly, the hanyou realized his mistake. She had interpreted his words the wrong way. He had forgotten how touchy women could be, but hopefully, he could fix his error. Pulling Kagome into him, he wrapped his arms around her for the second time that night. Ignoring the hurt he felt as Kagome struggled in his grasp to push him away from her, he held her closer. He understood what she needed, even if he was scared to say the words.  
  
"Damn it, Kagome. I do love Kikyou, and I always will. She was my first love, and I will always remember our past together. But that was fifty years ago! Kagome... I told her that what was between us ended then."  
  
Inuyasha felt Kagome catch her breath and for a second, his own chest felt her heart skip a beat. She was unsure where he was going with his explanation.  
  
"I told her that I wanted to take Naraku's life not only for revenge for her, but for that of our friends, that I would live on to fight for them... and she knows, she knows how special you are."  
  
Kagome spat viciously. "She sees me as her incompetent reincarnation!"  
  
"And I assured her that you were not. Perhaps you are her reincarnation, but the two of you are nothing alike."  
  
Another tear rolled down Kagome's face as she gathered the courage to look up into Inuyasha's eyes. That he realized that she and Kikyou were not the same person even though they had shared a soul meant the world to her.  
  
He realized that his words were having an impact on her, and so, he continued. "It's true too. You make me happy, you make me laugh, you've helped me see sides of myself I never knew existed."  
  
Kagome nuzzled her face into Inuyasha's collarbone as he sighed deeply and continued. "This has been difficult for me too, Kagome. Everything in my life has been a struggle. I'm tired of fighting too. Fighting for survival, fighting for strength, fighting for revenge. The only thing I want to fight for right now is you. I just want to be with you Kagome, can't you see that?"  
  
"Inuyasha, what are you trying to say?"  
  
_You broke the bonds and you   
__Loosed the chains  
__Carried the cross   
__Of my shame_  
  
Inuyasha broke down, emotionally worn out both from facing Kikyou and admitting to himself his feelings for the woman in front of him. He had spoken more in these few hours than he had in weeks, but he had to say it to her now, or he never would.  
  
"Damn it, Kagome, I love you!"  
  
This time, Kagome's heart did stop for a moment. Her anger and frustration vanished, and as she looked into the hanyou's face and was shocked at how clearly his emotions were etched there Inuyasha slowly leaned towards her. Waiting for her to close her eyes, he gently kissed her lips.  
  
The branches of the Goshinboku gently swayed together in a sudden breeze. The ancient tree's branches clacked together in the wind as a sudden gust of flurries cascaded around the couple locked in the embrace. The moon came out from hiding and cast it's ethereal glow on the land below.  
  
As he pulled away from her, she tried to get over her shock from his confession. Her unrequited love had finally told her he loved her, and she knew he was waiting to hear the same words from her mouth. If only she could get her vocal cords to work.  
  
Instead, she threw herself higher into his arms, her elbows hooking around his neck as she pulled herself up to meet his face in a passionate kiss.  
  
It took Inuyasha half a second to get over the shock of her actions, but not too much time that he didn't respond to her kiss. He held her slightly off the ground as he tilted his head to deepen their kiss. Reluctantly, they broke away for lack of air.  
  
"I love you too, Inuyasha."  
  
"Keh, well I should hope so after a kiss like that!"  
  
Kagome turned red and looked away, earning a laugh from the hanyou as he gently set her back down on the ground. Her feet sinking into the deep snow, she looked back at him and asked, "Can you pick me back up now?"  
  
"Why, you can walk, can't you?"  
  
Kagome's eyebrow twitched. Her hanyou may have had the sweetest nice streak she had ever known him to have, but he was still an idiot, and if he was going to play like that, than so would she. "Because you brought me out here with no socks and no shoes and just my school uniform and now my body is frozen, and it's all your fault!"  
  
"I'm sure I can think of a way to warm you up..."  
  
"Inuyashaaaa..."  
  
"Oh, come on, I was just-"  
  
"Osuwari!"  
  
"Kidding." Inuyasha groaned as his body slammed through the snow and several inches of ground beneath him.  
  
As his love walked back in the direction of the village, Inuyasha grinned ferally. Once the subjugation period of the beads lifted, he sat back on his haunches and leapt out of his Inuyasha shaped hole. If Kagome thought she was getting away that easily, she had another thing coming to her.  
  
Leaping high into the air with his arms wide open to catch the girl, Inuyasha smiled at the woman who he loved, and who loved him back.

* * *

Author's note:  
  
I happened to begin writing this BEFORE I watched episode 124.  
  
Now that I know just what does happen to Kikyou, I felt weird writing my own version of what I would have thought to be the inevitable conflict between Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyou. I thought about trying to make my story longer by incorporating it into the actual anime story line and still ending up with the same ending, changing mostly Kikyou's decision. The more I thought about it though, I liked it the way it was and decided to just leave it as a one shot "what if" fic, as if I had never seen as much of the anime as I had.  
  
All in all, this ficlet was a bit of a chore. The more I proofread it, I realized it sounded just like everyone else's fic. Apparently, there is only so much one can do with this sticky love triangle! But, I had already worked so hard on it, so I decided to post it anyway, to get it off my mind before moving on to my next project.


End file.
